


Date Night: November 2019

by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles)



Series: Downtown Eastside [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Date Night, Dating, Downtown Eastside, Fluff, M/M, Shenko - Freeform, Shrek is Love Shrek is Life, blade runner reference oh boy, mShenko, nerd baby and garbage bf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9441353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_sprinkles/pseuds/Lemon
Summary: Shepard decides to take Kaidan out on a date, and things don't blow up in his face quite like he expects.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notnowcommander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notnowcommander/gifts).



> Written for Mal! She asked for something fluffy and cuddly, and who am I to deny this request! Happy early birthday, Mal!

“Kaidan always takes me out on dates.”

 Joker slid his wheelchair to a halt, the case of beer on his lap almost toppling over. He caught it just in time.

 “Don’t sound so enthused, Shepard,” Joker said, and shot Shepard a look that could only be described as ‘What the hell is wrong with you’.

 “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” Shepard said defensively.

 “Then what _are_ you saying?” Joker flicked the brakes off his chair and wheeled around the bar, placing the case on the counter on his way by.

 “I’m saying that… that _he’s_ the one who’s always taking me out,” he said.

 For the past two months that they had been dating, Shepard had always been invited out by Kaidan. Kaidan took him to unique restaurants or live shows featuring by bands Shepard had never heard of; he bought him nice coffees and paid for tickets to special events around the city. Last week Kaidan had taken him to the Space Centre, where they spent the day learning about planetary systems and the process behind space exploration.

 It was the most fun Shepard had had in a while, but he’d stab anyone if they found out he got enjoyment out of learning all day.

 But Shepard did nothing for Kaidan. Shepard’s entire life was filled with illegal activities, or activities that could leave a man with a case of Hepatitis A or rabies. His world wasn’t fit for guys like Kaidan; he couldn’t just take him the local shanty town a block down from his house and teach him the math behind drug dealing.

 “I want to take him out one day,” Shepard said sullenly over his cup of black coffee. It was too early to drink. “I want to show him a good time—take him to cool places and… shit, I don’t know, woo him or whatever.”

“Then take him out for a date,” Joker said, refilling Shepard’s coffee. “It’s not that complicated, c’mon, dude.”

 Shepard glowered, but chose not to refuse Joker’s free coffee. “It is that complicated if you’re dating someone who’s… who’s… fancy and shit.”

 “Edi is fancy and shit and she still went on a date with me. I mean, I know there’s a difference—I’m hot, you’re not, Edi is brilliant and intelligent, Kaidan’s… weird. But it doesn’t matter. The guy is obviously head over heels for you. You could take him to see a re-run at the Rio Theater and buy him a Big Mac and he’d still be all over you.”

 Shepard paused, mouth slack with a witty—or offensive—retort on his lips.

  _The Rio Theater…_

 Kaidan had said he wanted to hang out with Shepard in his world; experience all the things he did and enjoy a slice of what his life had to offer. Shepard had always been hesitant, and for good reason, but if he brought Kaidan to one of the more wholesome—if not sticky—spots he hung out as a kid…

 “What’s up?” Joker asked, turning back around to see Shepard typing away at his phone.

 Ignoring him, Shepard googled the Rio Theater and read through their movie listings: Howl’s Moving Castle, some more weird foreign films, a 90’s Disney themed day and—

 Blade Runner. Saturday night.

 “Thanks, Joker,” Shepard said, almost knocking his coffee over as he got up from his stool. He was already halfway done texting Kaidan.

 “Hey—what the—hey!” Joker called.

 A distant ‘you’re welcome’ followed Shepard outside.

XX

 Kaidan was decidedly not ready when Shepard arrived at his doorstep for date-night.

 In fact, he was incredibly indecent.

 “Sorry, I just got out of the shower,” Kaidan said, shutting the door behind Shepard. Clad only in a towel, he dripped warm water as he shuffled down the hallway. Heat and the strong scent of body wash curled itself around Shepard, coaxing him further into the apartment.

 Kicking his shoes off, Shepard followed at a slower pace, hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket, fingers balled into fists.

_You’ve got a date tonight, Shepard. Don’t ruin it by turning it into a booty call. Kaidan deserves this._

 Entering the bedroom he saw Kaidan through the crack in the door to his bathroom, already in full ‘tame the hair’ mode. Shepard had seen it enough mornings now to know that it would be at least another fifteen minutes before he’d be ready.

 The fact that he was beginning to know Kaidan’s routine was a bit concerning, so Shepard distracted himself by fiddling with every little bit of lint and spare dimes he could find in his pockets.

 “You trying to seduce me by answering the door in a towel, Alenko?” Shepard called, watching the cars drive by down below.

 Kaidan kicked his door open with the heel of his foot, and Shepard caught the sight of his ass in the reflection of the window.

 “I have to seduce you now?” Kaidan asked, still taming his curls.

 Shepard shrugged. Kaidan didn’t have to do a damn thing to get Shepard’s attention. He could be wearing an oversized hoodie and sweats, slumped over on a couch with chip crumbs all over his lap, and Shepard would still want to ask him out.

 Kaidan appeared a few minutes later, smiling brightly and hair perfectly styled. He was still undressed, but Shepard watched out of the corner of his eye as he put on a dress shirt and slacks.

 “Uh… you don’t have to dress up,” Shepard said, suddenly feeling overly conscious about how not dress shirt worthy his date plans were.

 Kaidan shrugged as he did up the last of the buttons on his shirt. Tucking it in, he righted himself before he pulled Shepard in for a quick kiss, one that Shepard extended.

  _For luck._

 When they parted Shepard nuzzled their noses together, noting how Kaidan smelled a little different.

 “Cologne?” he asked.

 “Yeah,” Kaidan replied. “You said you liked it a couple of weeks ago, so I figured I’d wear it again.”

 Kaidan was trying to impress him, please him, _seduce_ him. He was putting in an effort.

 Pulling away Kaidan led Shepard toward the door, Shepard following with his heart beating through his chest. His date plans were starting to sound stupid as they neared the door, with Kaidan rambling on about how excited he was for the evening adding to Shepard’s anxiety. Kaidan was talking about how he was stressed beyond belief the last week due to university, and how thinking about their date had been his saving grace. Kaidan probably thought they were going somewhere nice to eat; that Shepard had something terribly romantic planned out, and that he’d show Kaidan a good time like he deserved.

 But a re-run of an old sci-fi movie at a theater where the floors were permanently sticky, followed by a burger and root beer float at the nearby A&W, wasn’t what Kaidan deserved.

 Shepard shoved his hands deeper in his pockets, feeling the money he’d saved up for the night. It wasn’t an expensive date by Kaidan’s standards, but it was enough that he wouldn’t be able to buy a morning coffee for a week.

 “So, where are we going?” Kaidan asked as they stepped into the elevator, the doors closing with a gentle ‘ping’.

 He was grinning from ear to ear, cheeks still pink from the shower, bundled up in his heavy wool coat and scarf. Shepard felt his throat close up, anxiety rising in him as he prepared to let Kaidan down— as he prepared to see Kaidan lose his smile.

 “I uh… well, the Rio Theater is doing a showing of Blade Runner and I thought… maybe. We could. See it. Or whatever.”

 Kaidan didn’t lose his smile. In fact, it got bigger if that were at all possible.

 “I love Blade Runner,” he said.

XX

 Shepard paid for their tickets and a gigantic bucket of cheap popcorn. He’d managed to dissuade Kaidan from trying the grilled cheese sandwiches, but as they ventured into the theater he caught Kaidan giving them a second glance, the challenge of eating one and _surviving_ obviously tempting.

 “As much as it would be funny to watch you try and eat one of those, I kind of like having you around,” Shepard said as they settled in their seats.

 “It wouldn’t actually kill me,” Kaidan said with an eye-roll. He paused, however, and turned to Shepard. “Right?”

 Shepard shrugged. “I saw a kid eat one once a few years back.”

 “And?”

 “I never saw him again. He probably died, Kaidan.”

 Shepard hid his smile with a mouthful of popcorn.

 “Yeah well… I bet you I could eat it. I’ve got a stomach of steel,” Kaidan said.

 Shepard just hummed and shoved his hand down into the bucket on his lap, collecting some more popcorn. He’d initially planned to get food first and then go to the movie, but Kaidan’s hair routine got in the way of that plan. Thus he was forced to fill the hole in his stomach with popcorn.

 Besides, shoving his face with popcorn gave him an excuse not to ask Kaidan—for the tenth time—if this date was really alright with him. Despite Kaidan’s assurances and enthusiasm, Shepard was still worrying about every little detail. What if Kaidan was lying when he said he liked Blade Runner? What if he expected real popcorn and not day-old shit from an ancient machine? What if he hated movies in general?

 The latter was unlikely, and yet Shepard let it swirl around in his head until he was glancing at Kaidan every three seconds, waiting for him to get up and leave. Instead Kaidan settled into his seat, grabbed a handful of popcorn from between Shepard’s legs, and shot him a genuine smile before placing a kernel in his mouth.

 “Look, if you don’t want to watch we can still—“

 The lights dimmed and the screen went black. White lettering filled the blackness, names of actors whom Shepard had admired from his very first exposure to the film in bold print and on the big screen. Shepard’s worries fell away as soon as the harsh, synth vibes of Vangelis filled the space, and he relaxed in his seat, already a world away.

 He was pulled back when Kaidan wrapped his arm casually over his shoulder.

 This was even better.

XX

 “Did you know Deckard is a replicant?”

 Shepard shook his head, swallowing the mouthful of onion ring, grunting as the half-chewed onion caught in his throat on the way down.

 “Bullshit—it’s left ambiguous,” Shepard said. Taking a long sip of his root beer float, he eyed Kaidan from across the table. “Where did you read that?”

 “First off—it’s not bullshit. Ridley Scott confirmed it himself. Secondly, I didn’t need to read it; I figured it out myself,” Kaidan said.

 “Because of the unicorn?”

 Kaidan’s smug smile dropped. “You picked up on that too?”

 “Of course I did. Kaidan, I’ve watched this movie seventeen times. I’ve caught every detail you can possibly imagine. This movie was my life during the summer of ’06.”

 Kaidan chuckled and stole one of Shepard’s onion rings. Taking a bite, he dropped the rest on the paper that had once held his hamburger. They’d come to the A&W starved, the popcorn only doing so little to quell the tides of hunger. Kaidan had tried to pay for his meal but Shepard insisted, wanting to treat Kaidan. They spent the first five minutes of their meal not speaking and just shoving food in their mouths, until Shepard’s hunger was sated enough he could tease Kaidan about choking up during the ‘tears in the rain’ speech.

“Alright, what makes you think he’s not a replicant?” Kaidan asked. He nudged their knees together under the table as he finished off his stolen onion ring.

 Shepard was suddenly hyper aware of where they were, and glanced over his shoulder to make sure there were no familiar faces in the joint. It wasn’t like he was embarrassed to be seen in public with Kaidan—far from it—but if anyone he knew saw him with a guy like Kaidan, questions would be asked. He didn’t want to have to beat a guy in the back-alley to keep him from talking.

 “John?”

 Shepard looked away from a man sitting with a friend in the corner of the A&W.

 “What?”

 “What makes you think Deckard isn’t a replicant?” Kaidan repeated. He lost a bit of his smile, attention flicking from Shepard to the men in the corner, then back to Shepard.

_Damnit._

 “The pictures in his apartment, for one thing,” Shepard said, desperate to bring back Kaidan’s smile. “Replicants don’t like photographs because it reminds them of the fact that they’re manufactured—they don’t have memories to look back on. Plus, he passed the Voight-Kampff test in the book.”

 Kaidan’s brow quirked, and he leaned further into the table. “You’ve read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”

 Shepard shrugged, cheeks suddenly going hot. “Y-yeah, I mean… I read sometimes.”

 Kaidan sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—“

 “Nah, it’s fine,” Shepard said. He leaned back, arm resting on the back of the booth. “I don’t read a lot of shit, but I like those kind of sci-fi novels. You know, shit that takes you away for a bit—takes you into a different world and makes you forget about your own problems. I got a copy of Electric Sheep from a friend of mine in Omega when I was a teenager.”

_Thanks, Patriarch._

 The book was in rough shape when Shepard had received it, but in the subsequent years the cover had come off and the spine broken too many times to count. Pages fell out if Shepard wasn’t careful, and a musty smell emanated from the pages. But Shepard hadn’t bought a new one. Couldn’t find it in himself to give it up, even if it was in such shitty shape.

“That’s… that’s really great, John.” Kaidan stole another onion ring with a wink. “I’ve never read it, so I guess I’ll concede to you. This time.”

 “Fair enough,” Shepard said, “it’s probably the only time I’ll ever win a battle of literature motifs with you, anyways.”

 “You’re an insightful guy, Shepard,” Kaidan said, his voice lowering slightly. It was his seductive voice—the voice he put on when he wanted to compliment Shepard.

 The fact that Shepard named not only the steps in Kaidan’s morning routine, but had also named his different voices, made Shepard seriously question what had happened to him in the last few months. Had he hit his head one too many times?

 “I’m layered,” Shepard said. “Like… an onion.”

 Kaidan paused. His face scrunched up slowly, brows furrowing together as he stared hard at Shepard.

 “Did you just quote Shrek?” he asked, voice lifting like he couldn’t actually believe he was saying those five words.

 Shepard blushed a deep crimson. “Well, I mean… Shrek was insightful too.”

XX

 “I guess this is my stop,” Kaidan said.

 He stood outside his apartment door, keys in hand and a cheeky grin on his lips.

 Shepard rolled his eyes but leaned in for a sweet kiss.

 “You’re a fucking dork,” he said when they pulled apart.

 Kaidan hummed in agreement and went in for another kiss—slow and deep and tasting of…

 Onions.

 “I had a great time, John. Thanks for inviting me out,” Kaidan said. He was leaning on Shepard, all hard angles and gentle hands. He smelled just as amazing as before, and Shepard found himself nuzzling his neck as they hugged in the hallway.

 “Yeah?”

 “Mm, best date I’ve been on in a while. Actually… uh… well, any date with you is pretty much the best date I’ve ever been on.”

 Shepard lifted his head and found Kaidan looking at him with an unreadable expression. Tilting his head to the side, Shepard cupped Kaidan’s jaw.

 “Are you saying you like me, Alenko?”

 Kaidan laughed and knocked his head gently against the door. “Yeah, maybe. I’m not coming on too strong, am I?”

 Shepard shook his head and kissed Kaidan again. And again. And again.

 As stupid and as ill-planned out as Shepard through his date had been, Kaidan still enjoyed it. Despite the sticky floor and uncomfortable chairs, the shitty popcorn and the kids in the back of the theater who wouldn’t shut up, the movie was a success. And the food, in spite of coming from behind a fast-food counter, had been a hit. Shepard was beginning to realize Kaidan didn’t need all the pomp and bravado—the expensive craft beer and the artisanal hamburger buns.

 He just needed him—Shepard, in all his Shrek glory.

 The realization made Shepard’s stomach do an embarrassing flip-flop, and he was giggling when they broke apart from their increasingly passionate kisses.

 “I owe Joker a beer,” Shepard said breathlessly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Shout-out to commander-hot-pants for the details on the Rio Theater. Apparently the grilled cheese sandwiches are totally real and as horrifying as they sound.


End file.
